final decision.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I've been feeling so moody these few days. Well, I went out earlier. Met Ira & Adam. We had fun. Yeah, really fun. But, I still think, its better if Baby was there. I promised Adam at 6pm. But, Ira and myself reached town at 645pm. Thanked God, Adam was still there. Waiting for me! Or else, I'll be dead.
So yeah. We walked at Far East. To look for Ira's skinny jeans. Found a shop. When Ira asked for the price and the lady said it was forty bucks, for that jeans! I go, what the fuck. Why is it so damn expensive. I brought mine at only twenty bucks. Haha. So yeaah.
We proceed to Peninsula. Took a bus from Far East. Ate at Long John. Thanks Adam for the treat. (: Then, look for Ira's skinny jeans. Finally, she got one skinny jeans at only twenty bucks! Haha(: She'll look great in those. Heehs.
Went to Starbucks. As usual! My daily routine. Heh(: Drink drink. Yum yum! !! Took a train to home. Adam sent me home. But, when Ira left me and Adam. I felt, as if. I dont know. Suddenly, my happy mood is gone. I didnt talk to Adam. I listened to my Ipod all the way. You know.. I feel as if. I dont know. I kept on thinking about things. ):
Adam keep on asking me, whats wrong. I just ignored him, and said, nothing. Haiz. When, I reached my front gate, he passed me my money back and off he go. I didnt even bother to say " Goodbye " to him. I dont know why. Arghhh!
Reached home, I throw my temper at my sisters. I threw my Ipod, bag and money on the ground. I dont know whats wrong. Went into the toilet, looked myself at the mirror and tell myself how much I hate myself when this is happening. I turned my musics to the maximum volume, and act as if nothing is happening.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I dont know why. I tried to be strong. But, I dont think I can. Adam messaged Mommy. And told Mommy everything. Well, I've left Adam. I dont wanna give him any hope. Thanks for being my best friend. But, I dont wanna be your friend. Because, being your friend will hurt you. The more I'll get closer with you, the more you'll love me.
I dont want that to happen. I guess, its time for you to look for someone else. Like I said, I can never be yours. And, you know how much I loved Baby. I'm sorry. I just need time. I'm so sorry Adam. I'm forced to make this decision.
Thanks for everything you've done for me. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for being there for me always. Mostly, thanks for loving me. Hopefully, one day, God will bring us back together like before. Its for our own good to go our seperate ways. Thanks, Adam. I'll always be there for you, no matter what.
I'm so sorry. Sorry for all the mistakes I've done. I'm sooooooooo sorry. Please forgive me. I wish you all the best in life. Takecare always, Adam. Thanks for everything, once again.
Labels: I'm sorry for the final decision that I've decide.
