Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Its been a month plus, he's been away. I miss him alot & cant wait for him to be release. I dont know how much longer should I wait for him. I've sent him letters and pictures of myself. But, I dont even know if he did received the pictures. His dad told me, he have replied my letter and I cant wait to read his reply.
I missed him alot. His dad and me and getting closer, eventhough, his son is not around. I miss him alot, trust me. You'll never know or understand what I'm going through right now. Everyone around me, is giving me false hope. So that, I'll be able to take the blow and not to feel sad. But, in the end. Whatever I've ever wished for, and longing for, is gonna be destroy. And, there's nothing can make me happy.
His first homeleave is going to be in June. And, I dont know, how am I gonna make time flies that fast. But, please. I hope, I'll sleep and be awake when June arrives. I dont wanna live in fear and sorrows. I'm trying to be strong and patient, but, I just cant. I've no one else. Except for Adam. He's the only person, I've left.
I've never lied to Ijad about my relationship with Adam. And, I never will. I've always told Ijad the truth. Cause, I was afraid of losing him again. Thanks, Adam. For always being there for me and finally understand what I'm going through right now.
School's not bad, for now. Its just that, the teachers are horrible. I dont find this year's interesting. Sucks like hell. I'm having so much problems and I cant cope. Amin is giving me problems. I dont know what to do. I'm like his punching bag. He loves venting his anger on me. But, I dont mind. As long, in the end he feels much better, thats enough.
I've been trying to advice Amin almost about everything. But, sometimes, it goes on deaf ears. Its his life, and I cant do anything. Okay, I better end here. I got no mood. Goodbye, readers. :D
P/S : Allah didnt give me a chance to prove my love for you. He dont wanna futfil my wish. I'll be strong and patient & waiting for you return, Aizat Bin Ariffin. <3